Rehab Friend Finder – A cross between dating service, student exchange, and internment camp for girls trying to clean themselves up
There are some pretty strange dating sites on the web, and we’re not just talking about Match and Adult Friend Finder, though both of those are pretty weird too. This one surely takes the cake. It’s a site out of California that arranges for you to accept a sick woman struggling with drug addiction into your home, and offers to pay you big money to do it, since it’s cheaper than having the state care for them.
You can pick the flavor of girl that’s right up your alley (or willing to go there) and have her delivered to your home. She’s already tested clean and verified to be on birth control, and once you grow tired of her, you just call the state back and they’ll come pick her up… she’ll never even know your real name. Now that is insulting!
Apparently there was some big to-do a year or two ago when an atheist, out trying to drum up hype for his new movie, asked people on YouTube to make videos basically giving up their souls. This blowback is pretty intense in that they don’t just want you to damn yourself, they want you to pledge your soul… also your kids’ souls… and your grandkids’ souls.
Harsh, man, seriously. They quote all kinds of scripture and say they don’t actually want your soul, but that when it really comes down to it, even a supposed atheist will admit that there really is a god, and that offering such things is no matter anyone would get involved with.
I think they’ve underestimated the heathens of our world, but we’re willing to drop them a link to help them find out for sure. Click here to visit www.FirstBornSoul.com.
With the interesting, though a tad late, decision of late by the US Supreme Court, it seems that the insurgents long held captive at Guantanamo Bay will finally be given their day in court. Well, they would, but it seems there isn’t any legally obtained evidence or confession from any of them, so they’re just free to walk away. But to where?
The problem becomes that many of these suspected terrorists have no home nation to go back to. The country they were born in won’t take them, and the country they were picked up in won’t either, so where can they go?
Good news for them, better news for you, and great news for the very notion of justice. Now you can adopt one all your own, and make a tidy sum in the process!
Take all that rage you’ve been building up against your girlfriend, wife, mother or random lady stranger on the bus, and imagine for a second that there’s now a safe, legal, sanctioned place where you can let fly with those fists of fury. Now stop imagining because it’s real, and it’s going live in just a few months, and it’s a whole fighting league dedicated to nothing shy of you being able to bash a woman in the face until she is bloody and unconscious.
I’m not sure if this company is ever getting off the ground or if it will be shut down by the long arm of the law before it hosts its first event, but if you see a lady you like you can reserve her as your own personal punching bag now and do so without even putting down a deposit. I guess that means that you can have the best of both worlds. You can keep your cash in your hands and still lock down a ten-minute bout of brutality with a girl half your size. Did I mention you get to wear open-hand gloves like in ultimate fighting, and that they aren’t allowed to win?
Ever since the terrorists did their damage and the government lashed back, us travelers have been subjected to the strangest and most insulting rules ever imaginable. We take our shoes off, put our toothpaste in Ziploc bags, and throw to the trash our lighters, disposable razors and assorted sorts of oversized bottles of lube.
What does it all mean and what the hell is the point? It’s insulting, really, and it would sure be great if there was some way to know if your name appears among the hundreds of thousands on the terrorist watch list. Now there is, and with this Fed Sponsored site, it seems you can finally petition to get wrongly listed names removed once and for all by just completing a quick questionnaire.
Use this site to find out if your name appears on the No-Fly terrorist watch-list, and if it does, get your name removed from the list at www.PassengerAdministration.com.
Looking for a Motivational Speaker with a Screw Loose? Graham Wellington Covers All Your Corporate Needs… Kind Of
I’ve been to all the top motivational speakers. I’ve seen Tony Robins, Brian Buffini, Joe Stumpf, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Phil McGraw and even Deepak Chopra, but none can hold a match to Graham Wellington. With his personal blend of Dr. Drew Pinksy good looks and Earl Browder common sense, this guy has more wisdom to espouse than anyone could ever understand without losing their jobs, their fortunes, and likely their minds.
I’m sure there are some good ideas in there, but the ones that strike us as crazy, inept or outright terrible seem to outweigh the mix so badly, there’s not a whole lot we can say except “Avoid This Guy at ALL Costs!”
Then again, if you’ve tried all the other motivational speakers, and you’re still hungry for more, maybe you’re just the sort of lunatic he’s looking for.
Check out the site online at www.GrahamWellington.com, but don’t try to say we didn’t warn you.
Company Had Problems with Racism/Sexism in the Workplace? SensitiveYou.com Has All the Training Your Staff Could Ever Ignore
I’ve worked what has felt like an eternity heaving the oars in the belly of the corporate ship, so I’ve seen more than my fair share of experts come and go trying to teach us things about racial equality, and what not. None of it means anything, of course, but big companies have to put on the appearance of at least trying. You hire some experts, they do their jobs, they leave, and you’re absolved from wrong-doing, essentially.
But imagine if you went with the lowest bidder instead, and you hired a company that seems to have almost no idea what they’re doing… that’s Sensitive You in a nut sack. I can’t tell if they’re real or a scam, but their rates are high, their Visa/MC page seems to work, and they have got to be putting out the very worst advice your employees could ever dream to take to heart.
Check out the site online at www.SenstiveYou.com.
The Best Chance Ever to Legalize Marijuana or Get Slavery Reparations… ChronicReparations.com Combines them Together At Last
We don’t see too many social programs we can get behind, and when we do it, they’re typically pretty much bullshit, and this one is double-joke at best, which is probably the reason why we love it so much.
Imagine an America where marijuana (medical or otherwise) is totally legal and perfectly regulated, and all the money pouring in is finally going to fund the long-promised, never-delivered assurances offered to the descendents of the American slavery legacy.
If you’re looking to smoke weed legally, or you believe that reparations can benefit black Americans in the form of carefully balanced and measured social programs.
Click here to visit www.ChronicReparations.com.
We wrote up a piece a few months back about a site that actually sells crabs specifically so you can get back at your ex, and we thought that was so terrifically horrible it deserved a certified Insulting write-up, but we had no idea how far some will go to ruin the lives of others.
The STD Store doesn’t just sell lesser curable nuisances, they’re willing to do the whole damn deal, complete with herpes, hepatitis and HIV… and how can they sell these terrors at such low prices? It isn’t volume, its offshore operation. The internet keeps shrinking the world, and now your enemy’s genitals can enjoy the same downgrade.
And as far as unreal sites go, this one is just a bit too convincing for my taste. The shopping cart actually works, and short of putting in my real credit card (no way in hell!) there’s nothing I could find that says these guys aren’t legit, and that’s a terrifying idea for our world, our children’s world, and the poor previously undestroyed kid-junk or our children as well.
Click here to visit the STD Store at www.porn.net/corporate/std_store/.
Site Offers an Abortion Pill Called the LifeSaver™, Which Dudes Can Slip to Their Unsuspecting Ladies
We really go out of our way to find the newest, most insulting sites on the web, but this one has got to be right up there. It’s apparently a product that acts exactly like the RU486 abortion pill (the one that makes women excrete their unborn children) except that you can buy it without a prescription, and it gets worse.
You can also buy it without a vagina, so they’re basically selling it to dudes. They have all kinds of instructions about how you can slip it in your girlfriend’s drink, hide it in her food, or even rub it into her skin.
So basically you can buy it, give it to her, and the baby is gone. They’ve got all kinds of justifications like gender inequality and equal rights, but it’s a horrible, horrible thing, and I don’t know what kind of sick bastard would come up with this, even as a joke.
Click here to visit the LifeSaver site directly at www.porn.net/corporate/lifesaver/.