Strangest, Creepiest Product Ever. The Analometer™ Gets Stuffed In Butt to Constantly Check Your Temperature… For Safety!

Analometer Anal Thermometer Site

As technological innovators ourselves, we’re really big fans of almost everything that comes from the constant innovation that fuels the advance of our world. We think that dicer/slicer thing on late night infomercials is pretty slick, and also the WonderBlade and the Greased Monkey, but nothing has struck us as so fanciful, useful, life-saving, and still oddly disturbing as the Analometer™ offered by

Imagine a device designed for Smoke Jumpers they can snugly stuff in their keisters to monitor their core temperatures and protect them from hyperthermia. It’s bulky, expensive and anything but practical, but when it comes to saving the lives of the people who technically have to save our lives, I guess nothing is too good, too expensive, or too painfully bulky in the butt.

It’s a really smart idea, but the execution of it is so terrible I can’t even imagine how they got funding for it, but we’re not here to say what makes an anal instrument good or bad, but rather to point out that they exist… and that the government is already throwing money at them, and on the verge of making them mandatory… nice.

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